In the fast-paced, ever-evolving world we live in, it’s easy to get swept away by the demands of daily life. We often find ourselves juggling numerous responsibilities, chasing after success, and striving for external validation. In this whirlwind of activity, we might overlook one of the most crucial aspects of a fulfilling life – connecting to our values. In this blog post, we’ll explore the profound importance of connecting to your values and how it can positively impact your life.
Our values are what define us – they embody what matters to us most in life and how we want to be as a person. Values include the personal qualities that make us who we are. They are subjective and mean different things to different people. Chances are how I define being driven will not be the same to how you define it.
Fulfilment is that elusive sense of contentment and satisfaction, it’s the feeling we get when we are connected to our values. Finding fulfilment is a pursuit that occupies the minds of many – it’s the quest for a rich and meaningful life.
A lot of the people who come to see me for therapy are not feeling fulfilled, in fact, this means they are likely disconnected from their values in some way. For some, they know what their values are, they just have something getting in the way, like being in an unhappy job. Others though are disconnected because they don’t know their values in the first place. It’s hard to connect to your values if you don’t know them.
Defining Your Values
Before delving into why connecting to your values is essential, let’s clarify what values are. Values are the core principles and beliefs that guide how you make decisions and behave. They represent what you consider important, meaningful, and worthy in life. Values can encompass a wide range of areas, including family, career, relationships, personal growth, and more.
Here’s a list of my values:
- Enthusiasm
- Persistence
- Drive
- Curiosity
- Helpfulness
- Doubt
- Genuine
- Authenticity
- Creative Thinking
- Patience
Values that are strengths
Some values we can also describe as strengths. Strengths are what you are able to do well. One of mine is patience, I can wait incredibly long times for something, sometimes to my own detriment. Seeing patience as a strength means I very rarely doubt my ability to be patient and I can often rely on it when needed – essentially, it’s a part of how I am now.
Values that are aspirational
Not all our values will feel like a current strength and that’s ok. Some values we are sure define us, but feel more like an ambition – something we hope to become. These are what can be defined as aspirational values. These are the values we feel like we are working towards. One of my aspirational values is authenticity. While I’m certainly more authentic than a year ago, it’s something I very much feel like is a work in progress.
The Importance of values balance
Some people have their values focused around optimising their performance, but find themselves always burning out. Others might have their values focused on prioritising the needs of others, but then their own needs go unmet. These are examples of values imbalance. When there is imbalance it can be harder to sustain a sense of fulfilment.
Looking at my own values, if nothing keeps my desire for patience in check, it becomes really easy to miss opportunities from waiting too long. I can find balance by also leaning on my other values that focus on taking action, such as drive and enthusiasm. I tend to feel fulfilled and content when these opposing values can work together. For instance, I might be really, really excited by an idea and want to share it, but it needs time to grow for it to make sense to others. So I might balance this strong enthusiastic urge by calling upon patience. I’ll say to myself: “give it a week, if you’re still excited by this idea you can share it then”. That’s values balance.
The benefits of Connecting to Values
Clarity and Purpose – A Sense of Direction
Values are the guiding principles that shape your life’s trajectory. They serve as a compass, pointing you toward what truly matters to you. When your actions and choices align with your values, you embark on a journey that resonates deeply with your core beliefs. This alignment provides a sense of direction and purpose that is essential for experiencing fulfilment.
Authenticity and Self-Expression
Your values are a reflection of your authentic self. Embracing and expressing these values allows you to be true to yourself and others. When you live in alignment with your values, you radiate authenticity, which can attract like-minded individuals and foster deeper, more meaningful relationships.
Resilience and Inner Strength
Life is filled with challenges and setbacks. Connecting to your values can provide a source of inner strength and resilience during tough times. When you face adversity, your values serve as a compass, guiding you through difficult decisions and helping you stay focused on what truly matters.
Improved Decision-Making
When you’re clear about your values, decision-making becomes more straightforward. You can evaluate choices based on whether they align with your values or not. This simplifies the decision-making process and reduces the chances of regrettable choices.
Fulfilling Relationships
The connection between values and fulfillment extends to your relationships. When you surround yourself with individuals who share or respect your values, you foster a sense of belonging and connection. These relationships are more likely to be supportive and fulfilling, as they are built on a foundation of shared beliefs and understanding.
Long-term Satisfaction
Values offer a blueprint for long-term satisfaction. Pursuing short-term gratification may bring temporary pleasure, but it often leaves a void in the long run. In contrast, living in accordance with your values leads to a sustained sense of contentment and fulfillment that endures over time.
Take Time and Think About Your Values
In a world filled with distractions and external pressures, connecting to your values is a powerful way to lead a more fulfilling and meaningful life. It provides clarity, authenticity, resilience, and a sense of purpose that can positively impact your well-being and relationships. Take the time to reflect on your values, embrace them, and let them guide you on your journey towards a richer, more purposeful existence.
If you need help to think about your values, here’s a list that I often use. It’s not perfect, but pulling some out this way can be a good start.
I do lots of work not just to help people identify their values, but to come up with ways on how to connect with them. Connecting with values is an essential part of living a rich and meaningful life – in reading this you have taken a step to staying connected to what really matters. It’s not an easy endeavour, but connecting with your values will be worth the effort.